For entertainment purposes only

Bad Idea Hotline

Call before you do something you'll regret.
Vent. Laugh. Get perspective. Walk away calm.

Call Now

1-463-BAD-IDEA

Entertainment only. By calling, you consent to recording. 18+ only.

How It Works

01

Call The Hotline

Dial the number. Any time you are about to do something you might regret, make this call first.

02

Choose Your Team

Pick the team that fits your situation. Action planners, investigators, or analysts. Each has their own approach.

03

Get The Plan

Our team will assess the situation, validate your frustration, and give you a plan that keeps you out of trouble.

What To Expect

Real Validation

Your feelings are valid. We get it. Sometimes people are genuinely terrible and you deserve to be heard.

Actual Laughs

Anger and humor live close together. We will help you find the absurdity in your situation.

Fresh Perspective

Sometimes you need an outside voice to point out what you already know but do not want to admit.

Practical Options

Walk away with real options that do not involve lawyers, bail money, or regret.

Choose Your Team

Different problems call for different experts

The Analysts The Diplomats More Coming

The Tacticians

Elite strategic planning for everyday annoyances. They treat your petty grievance like a high-stakes military operation. Expect mission briefings, tactical jargon, and absurdly detailed action plans.

The Tacticians team silhouette

The Investigators

Private detective agency for minor mysteries. They dig into who ate your lunch, why your neighbor is like that, and what your coworker is really up to. Expect interrogation techniques and case file terminology.

The Investigators team silhouette

Ready To Make The Call?

Your neighbors will thank you. Your future self will thank you.

1-463-BAD-IDEA

Entertainment only. By calling, you consent to recording. 18+ only.

Real Help For Real Crises

Bad Idea Hotline is entertainment. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, substance use, or thoughts of suicide, these resources provide real, professional support. Free. Confidential. Available right now.

24/7 Crisis Lines

988
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Call or Text

Mental health, suicide, substance use. Free, confidential, 24/7. Available in 240+ languages.

988lifeline.org
988 → Press 1
Veterans Crisis Line
Call, Text 838255, or Chat

For veterans, service members, National Guard, Reserve, and their families.

veteranscrisisline.net
Text HOME to 741741
Crisis Text Line
Text Only

Free, 24/7 text-based support for any crisis. Trained crisis counselors.

crisistextline.org
1-800-662-4357
SAMHSA National Helpline
Call 24/7

Treatment referrals and information for mental health and substance use disorders.

samhsa.gov
1-800-950-6264
NAMI HelpLine
M-F 10am-10pm ET

Information, resources, and support for mental health conditions. Text "NAMI" to 62640.

nami.org
1-800-985-5990
Disaster Distress Helpline
Call or Text 24/7

Crisis counseling for emotional distress related to disasters.

samhsa.gov

Federal Mental Health Agencies

SAMHSA Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration NIMH National Institute of Mental Health MentalHealth.gov U.S. Government Mental Health Resources FindTreatment.gov SAMHSA Treatment Locator

Online Therapy Services

Licensed therapists available from home. These services offer professional mental health support via video, phone, or messaging.

BetterHelp Online counseling with licensed therapists Talkspace Therapy and psychiatry online Cerebral Mental health care and medication management Psychology Today Find a therapist directory

Important Disclaimer

ENTERTAINMENT ONLY: Bad Idea Hotline is an entertainment service for adults 18 years and older. All characters are entirely fictional and powered by AI. Any resemblance to real persons is coincidental. We are not therapists, lawyers, mediators, or licensed professionals of any kind. Nothing said during calls constitutes professional advice.

CALL RECORDING: By calling, you expressly consent to your call being recorded, transcribed, and stored. This consent applies regardless of your location and satisfies all applicable state and federal recording laws.

CRISIS RESOURCES: This service is not equipped to handle emergencies or mental health crises. If you are experiencing a genuine emergency, call 911. For mental health support, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or use the resources listed above.